we're back. now ive got to process everything that happened in that last month and how it affected us and how it will affect our actions in the future.
first, im calling what passed last month a "trip" rather than a vacation because there was nothing relaxing about it.
second, these trips are extremely expensive. weve got to figure this north america travel rhythm out. how often can we feasibly and happily visit? im not sure yet. i do know that my future limit would be a maximum of 2.5-3 weeks away, in maybe 1-2 locations.
third, i HATE the jetlag getting back. its more than a little crippling those first couple days, i actually feel sick and disoriented. plus, coupled with a lack of sleep for 75% of the trip, it does not make for a nice situation. and, once exhaustion was slightly curbed, X seemed to have a very hard time winding down for bed (not surprisingly), and had a hard time coping with regular things during the day, seemingly needing lots of hugs and to be close to us often during the day (again, this is not surprising).
lastly, we really missed finland. X loves it here. she was getting excited talking about it on the last couple days of the trip. she is very happy to walk through the woods, play on the playgrounds, go to the library, ride the buses and see the trams. she really belongs here and im glad about that. and for me too, being back is very calming. being able to walk everywhere, visually take in the nature, the smell of clean air, hear the soothing sounds of wind blowing through the birch tree leaves. its a very meditative experience here. this can also mean its too quiet when you have lonely thoughts/feelings but i'll take a bit of down with all the up this place has to offer and trust that in time i will feel solid and balanced here.
im also a little frustrated that we missed one of this countrys most beautiful times of year to sweat and stress in north america. i think until X is of school age, id like to make our US trips in early spring when things are still not too nice here and the snow is still clinging to the ground in its last futile efforts to stave off green life. i already feel an attachment to the beauty and calm that comes from the warm weather months in this place. i dont want to miss that. getting back at the end of july meant i already felt the hint of fall in the air, and that brings winter all too soon. i enjoy the snow as well, but to have missed a whole month of green beauty here makes me sad.