25 December 2012

X files - 2 Years & 8 Months Old - Vortex of change

most of the changes related to X this month happened to her and did not originate from her. i think this royally pissed her off, as she has a right to feel. it wasnt helpful that both dave and i were stressed in our own unique ways and none of us had much extra patience to give to each other to help make transitions go more smoothly. at least for the first part of these past two months she did have plenty of attention (in the form of reading, see the list below!) and hopefully kids are as resilient as they say. im hoping she will be settled from all the upheaval by the time she turns 3.

obsessions: spitting (not on people, just experimenting making and moving spit in and out of her mouth. super fun), lining things up like a train, reading to herself (from memory), dangling from things

good books: come again pelican, a rainbow of my own, big boss, quiet theres a canary in the library, the story snail, silly and sillier, silly lilly and the four seasons, the stranger, the apple pie tree, goldilocks and the three dinosaurs, potty!, somewhere in the world right now, bringing the rain to kapiti plain, how to catch a star, grumpy bird, in november, the storytelling princess, lentil, horse in the house, jesse bear what will you wear?, the house that drac built, a house is a house for me, those darn squirrels, big max and the mystery of the missing giraffe, how do penguins play?, just a snowman, richard scarrys a day at the fire station

X-citing developments:
1. health and well-being.
-the move/changes reaffirmed that she has a hard time with change. travel, in general, with us has usually been manageable, but this was basically a full upheaval of her life as she knew it for close to 2 months straight. cant say i blame the kid but damn was it a challenge. i was having my own stress and couldnt pay as much attention to her as normal, and certainly not as much attention as she NEEDED. that pretty much sucked. im already not the best at handling a move, but making myself feel like im doing a crappy job in another area of my life (parenting) was laying it on much thicker that i was interested in swallowing. poor kid. sorry X.

-worst sickness of her life. still not much to write home about compared to other families, it just came at a bad time. she was highly congested with a cold, and damn if she wasnt the shittiest patient known to man. she would get PISSED that she couldnt breathe out of her nose but wouldnt let me attempt to help with the nose frida. she was up every 30-60 minutes all night long until about 4a for almost a week. i was LOSING my mind. i was sick too and we were both VERY grouchy and grumpy (sorry anyone who encountered us then!!). i finally had to do her naps by holding her in a rocking chair to keep her propped up. she got sleep at least but i was sore and tired.

-at playgroup one day she fell off a little bike toy and slightly chipped a tooth and scraped her face. she was very brave about it, and the worst part was that the scrape didnt start to look nasty until like 30 minutes later. so the whole time she was crying i was trying to figure out why she was wailing so hard. ugh.

2. personality.
-sensitive/hyper-aware. she became very, very aware of things on/in her body this month: tags on clothes, boogers in her nose, textures/lumps in her food, air pressure from planes, her legs falling asleep when she sits in weird positions. these were all things that didnt bother her before...but now they do. or at least she totally fixated on them until perhaps they became more commonplace to her again and she slightly calmed down about them. also she became aware of shapes of light on the wall in her room at night. it took a while to get her to sleep for about a week when she noticed that. fun fun.

-men. its been very challenging for her to get comfortable with men. even if shes had a great time with them in the past. each time she comes in contact with the man, it still takes her a while to want to even be near him. its hard to find the right thing to say to her because she has a right to move away from something or someone that is making her uncomfortable. shes not exactly at a rational age yet so i cant just say "its just [so-n-so], relax". it doesnt work. im sure it will ease up with age.

-groups. if we have a meeting/playgroup with a new group and the group size becomes more than like two people large, X tends to want to go off and be alone. she plays well with kids she either knows or with one or two kids at a time. its good to remind myself of her general nature sometimes, its a lot like mine, but social behavior is so much more pronounced in kids. 

3. reading. she got waaay in to reading again. after reading a story a few times in a row to her, she wants to "read" it to me. she can remember whole passages or pages to many of her favorite books, and remembers the plot well enough from all her stories that she can "read" you the jist of the story as well as, often, key phrases from characters. she reads to her animal "friends" too. several times now people, or pictures, or experiences we have remind her of characters or stories from books and she is excited to find that connection to her day-to-day life.

momma mentionables:
1. physiotherapy. before leaving halifax i wanted to get myself back on track (only to promptly fall off the wagon of course, but at least now i have the tools). my core has been way weak since getting pregnant with X: my back, abs, pelvic floor. with 2 physiotherapy sessions, some physio-pilates and yoga, im feeling much stronger. im told my abs will always be separated, i didnt get stretch marks but i got abs that will no longer fully join. less than two weeks of physio exercises (less than 30 minutes each night) and i feel so powerful in my core, my muscles coordinate their actions now and take care of things with much less pain and effort. i cant believe what a difference its made, and now i feel silly for waiting so long.

2. second kid? around my birthday the idea occurred to me...to ask dave what his thoughts on a second kid were (literally i had asked him nothing about his opinion about it since i was pregnant). by september i had actually asked him, and we had discussed. i am happy to say that the idea of a second kid is no longer a terrifying black hole that i dont want to look in to, let alone get near. that was what irritated me most about the topic...the fact that X had me so scared about the idea, that it had been flung so far off the table...it made me disappointed in myself. this is not to say that we will have a second kid. there are still things to think about and balance and weigh. its just no longer out of the realm of possibility. i like the quote from carl gustav jung someone posted recently "the pendulum of the mind oscillates between sense and nonsense, not between right and wrong.” thats how im looking at it.

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