its been over 20 months since dave and i had our last "date", today this situation was rectified.
our babysitter, sara, was done with school for the year and she wasnt traveling home right away for the holidays. she was kind enough to give us some of her weekend time so we could get our first date. it ended up being a modest midday sunday "date" and that was fine with me.
the day actually started with dave taking X to the natural history museum so i could have quiet time to finish up some work and get Xs lunch ready. we had sara from 11:30a-2p. and it turned out to be the perfect amount of time.
our date wasnt very elaborately planned. i just wanted to spend time with him relaxing, talking, and being a normal non-parent adult. i was determined that the date time would NOT involve: running errands, going shopping, seeing a movie, or talking about X (incessantly). so, we chose to do lunch and bowling.
lunch was at the yummy middle eastern place we like. we were the only ones there and we had a nice, quiet, slow meal that was actually able to be consumed while it was still hot. a novelty! after food, we headed out for some candlepin bowling, which i now realize means we recreated a "date" we had done while i was pregnant.
we did a terrible job bowling!! i mean it was truly embarrassing. we were lucky we were the only people there or else i would have had to put a paper bag over my head. last time we were here i won all 3 games we played. this time, i lost all three! this was bad for my ego, but it was fun to get reacquainted with my competitive nature. but, we ended up having a lovely time, despite the fact that we were awful. i decided it was a general metaphor for the situation we now found ourselves in: rusty at having adult fun. it looks like we need some practice on going out by ourselves.
all in all, we had a great time in our 2.5 hours, and i wouldnt have had any use to be gone from X for longer. to be sure, we had a different kind of fun without her (quiet, slow, relaxed, totally driven by our own wants/needs), but its not like we dont know how to have a similar amount of fun WITH X. it also showed me that, while dave and i should definitely seize all future opportunities for some free time alone, we had been doing a good job of supporting each other, listening to each other, and connecting with each other while being full-time parents. i didnt feel like the "date" was required to help us fill in a gap in our relationship, and it wasnt hard to make interesting conversation about things that didnt involve X.